Life Goes On
by sothernqt
Summary: Mac is faced with a situation that could end life as she knows it. Will she press on, or will she let her world slip away? And will Harm stay by her side?
1. Chapter 1

A/N- Okay so I know I am not the best to update…so if any of you remember my other stories I am actually trying to finish writing those. Anyways I hope you all enjoy this new one. Hey this fits somewhere in the early seasons…don't have a real time frame in mind.

-Atlanta, Georgia-

Harm ran after Mac. "Come on Mac, I was just kidding!"

Mac just waved her hand and continued to walk away from him, making haste as she did so. "You always speak before you think don't you?" she asked angrily.

"A bad habit, I know." Harm caught up with her finally and stopped her. "Look I am sorry. I really am, but I promise that you can yell at me all you want once we finish this case." Harm thought the humor would make her feel better, but it didn't.

"Everything is just a joke to you isn't it?" she spat and ran out the front door of the building.

"No, some people just take everything too seriously!" Harm yelled behind her. He never expected to see what happened next. As Mac crossed one lane of traffic and stepped into another a wild car out of no where came squealing towards her. "Mac!" Harm yelled with all of his might. Just as she turned and looked the car made impact with her body. Her body flew up onto the hood of the car and crashed into the windshield. "Mac!" he yelled again as he raced across the street to where she was. Her body lay limp on the car. The driver was obviously intoxicated, and didn't even get out of the car to see if she was okay. Harm felt for Mac's pulse. It was weak and he knew she was losing a lot of blood. All he wanted to do was to hold her, but he didn't dare move her. A bystander had already called an ambulance and was standing next to Harm. Harm took off his white shirt and placed it over the gash across her stomach. "Mac, can you hear me? If you can I need you to stay with me, okay?" He begged. A few minutes later an ambulance squealed onto the scene. They quickly pushed Harm out of the way and set to work.

"Who is her emergency contact?" The paramedic asked aloud.

"I am." Harm said softly.

"Okay sir you can ride with us. We are going to be taking her to Piedmont Hospital. They are going to examine her and then tell you what they know." The young man appeared to be Harm's age. He was politely explaining everything to Harm. The paramedic could see the fear in Harm's eyes, and he saw why he was afraid. The man clearly loved the injured woman; there was no way to deny it.

Once they arrived at Piedmont Hospital the paramedics quickly took her to the E.R. Harm could do nothing but sit and wait, wait for news, wait for the grief or relief he would feel. Two hours later a doctor emerged with news. Harm stood and walked over to the man. "What's going on?" he asked impatiently.

"Ms. Mackenzie has had a back injury. She broke two vertebrae. When the car hit her it snapped her back. The large wound to her stomach was caused by the glass from the windshield. I was able to repair the damage to her internal organs, but she is being sent to Shephard Center for immediate care on her back."

Harm tried to soak it all in. "Where is Shep…"

"Shephard is connected to this hospital. They specialize in spinal cord injuries. She will be in the best of hands." The doctor laid a kind hand on Harm's shoulder. "I'll take you there myself."

Harm walked in a dazed stupor with the doctor down a long colorful hall. He couldn't tell what was exactly painted on the walls. All he noticed was the many colors. His eyes came into focus and he stepped into the hospital. The doctor led the way to a waiting room that was nearby. Harm began to memorize every detail so that he could remember how to get where he needed to go. It was as if his body switched into autopilot, and he was merely the passenger.

"They have taken her into surgery already, but she should be out in a few hours." The doctor placed a hand on Harm's shoulder. "Mr. Rabb I promise you she will be well taken care of."

Harm nodded his thanks and sat still. The doctor left him to ponder and went back to his patients. All Harm could do was see the fear in Mac's face as she looked up at the car. All he could feel was the regret of not helping her. Tears slowly slid down his face.

"I'm a guessing it wasn't your fault." Came a soft voice.

Harm looked up and saw a small girl in a wheelchair in front of him. She had bright green eyes and red curly hair. Her voice was laden with an Irish brogue, and her face was blessed by the presence of many freckles.

"My dah always thought this was his fault." She said as she gestured at the wheelchair. "But it wasn't. There wasn't a soul alive that coulda helped me." The small child laid her hand on his knee. "So don't you go a feeling like it is your fault."

Harm smiled at the small child. "What's your name?"

"Katelyn O'Donnell." She said proudly. "What's yours?"

"Harmon Rabb Jr., but you can call me Harm."

She smiled a sweet smile. "Well I guess you can call me Katie." She rolled closer to him and gave him a wicked grin. "I'm eleven, how old are you?"

Harm gave a small laugh. "Thirty three, not that it is any of your business. Where is your family?" He asked searching the waiting room for the girl's family.

"Oh, my ma and my dah are dead, and I live here with my grandparents. They are both taking a nap. I am here for my therapy." She looked down at her small legs in braces. "I saw you just a sittin here, and you looked lonely so I thought I might try and cheer you up a bit." She gave him a child's smile and leaned in. "Did it work? Do you feel any better?"

Harm smiled. "Yeah, I do thanks."

"Katie if you are late one more time…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah you will horse whip me until I see blue, or sometin so frightin like that." Katie said sarcastically. Her physical therapist was standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips.

"Come on sister lets go."

"You see how they treat you around here." Katie said jokingly. "Well goodbye Harm, I hope to see you again. Maybe you won't end up working with her." She pointed her thumb at the red headed P.T.

"Yes, he will have to pray hard he doesn't end up with me right?"

"Well, your not that bad."

Harm laughed at the two as he heard them continuing to bicker down the hall. He could see the love and respect they had for one another. Harm had spent so much time talking to Katie that he didn't even notice how much time had passed. There was something unique about that girl, something comforting. Not long after she left a doctor came into the waiting room looking for him. "Mr. Rabb?"

"Yes." Harm stood up and shook the surgeon's hand.

"Your girlfriend is in stable condition, but I should tell you she is not perfect. When she was injured her L2 and L1 vertebrae were damaged."

"What does that mean?"

"She will be paralyzed from the hips down." Harm sank to a chair and placed his head in his hands. "Now this does not mean she will never walk again. She was lucky that it was lower in her spine. From her hips down is what will not get the information from her brain. She will need extensive therapy, both physical and mental. I will explain it in greater detail to the both of you once she wakes up. I thought you might want to be the one to tell her. If you are not comfortable I understand."

"No…no I'll do it." Harm said stoically. "When can I see her?"

"Right now if you like."

"Let's go." Harm silently followed the doctor to Mac's room and they stopped outside of the closed door. Before the doctor could open his mouth Harm had stopped him. "I know, she is going to look a lot different. I'm in the military; I have seen a lot of people in the hospital. You don't have to warn me."

The doctor nodded. "That may be true, but have you ever seen someone you loved lying in those hospitals?" With that the doctor slowly opened Mac's door.

'How does he know I love her?' Harm thought. 'I don't even know I love her. Okay, so who am I kidding I am head over heals, crazy in love with that Marine.' Harm braced himself and cautiously entered the room. When he saw Mac's frail body lying before him it was all he could do not to collapse. She had two I.V.s and several other tubes that protruded from her body. "Is she in a coma?"

"Uh…no, which is a good thing. She is also breathing on her own, which is definitely a good sign. Mr. Rabb I can't imagine what is going through your head right now, but you have to understand that compared to most in her situation she is doing great." The doctor knew that was not much comfort to the young man, but he gave it any ways. "When she wakes up please have the nurse page me. Once she is doing a little better we will move her to a different room." The doctor hesitated and then left.

Harm slumped down into the chair beside her bed. "Hey Ninja Girl, I am right here okay?" Harm gently took her hand in his. "I want you to know that we will get through this together, and no matter how much you push I am not going to leave." Harm laid his head down on her bed and shut his eyes hoping that sleep would not elude him.

Two hours later Harm woke to something stirring beside him. He jerked up and looked over at Mac's face. Her eyes slowly fluttered open and a look of panic swept across her face. "Hey, it's good to see you."

"Where am I?" she croaked.

Harm sighed. "Shephard Center in Atlanta."

Mac processed for a moment then reality hit her. She knew that Shephard was a hospital that specialized in spinal cord and brain injuries. Obviously she had no brain damage, so she deduced it must have to do with her spin. Mac tried to move her legs but was unable to. She quickly began to panic and tried to sit up. Harm laid a hand on her chest and tried to soothe her. "Mac calm down." "No, no, no…" she said as she tried to remove the blankets that were covering her legs. "I have to see them." Slowly Harm moved the blankets away from her legs so Mac could see them. Again she tried to move them, but her efforts were futile. "No…" she cried softly.

"Mac… Sarah…you are paralyzed from the hips down."

"No…" she sobbed again.

"I am so sorry." Harm's face showed all his emotions at once and when she looked up at him with her eyes he could no longer hold in the tears. Her eyes pleaded with him to tell her that this was all a sick joke, but he could not. "I am sorry." He said barely above a whisper.

Her body began to shake with sobs as she lay back down on the bed. Harm gently yet quickly lay down beside her and wrapped her in his arms. "No, no, no…" she continued to cry. Mac held onto Harm shirt with all her might and buried her head in his neck. "Fix it." She croaked out through her sobs. Harm looked down at Mac and watched her slip away. She was hurting so bad that all reality had flown out the window. "You always fix my problems." She sobbed. "Won't you fix this one?" She looked up at him with her deep caramel eyes, and as he looked down at her he saw the woman Sarah, someone who was still not grown, but tried so hard to be. And all she wanted was for him to fix her problems.

Harm cupped her face in his hands. "I can't baby. I want to so bad, but I can't." Mac began to sob again and he pulled her to him kissing her forehead. Mac cried for over an hour until she finally cried herself to sleep. Her face was yet again buried in Harm's neck. Harm thought about how her eyes had looked like a child's. It was as if she were asking her father to fix her boo boo, but this one he was unable to heal.

A/N- Please review...I love to hear your opinions.


	2. I Know You

**A/N-** Wow, I love all the feedback. It was all great. Thanks so much. Okay I am going to try and not be too technical with the medical aspect of the story, but I will try to remain accurate. Hope you enjoy the next section.

**Disclaimer: All of the characters attributed with JAG are not mine; they belong to D.B. and Paramount. Katelyn, does however, belong to me.**

**-Shephard Center- Mac's room**

Harm slowly opened his eyes and took in his surroundings. He looked down and saw Mac's face buried in his chest. Her eyes were red and swollen. He lovingly brushed back a stray piece of hair and kissed her forehead. Harm looked at the clock and it read ten thirty. Slowly he slid out of the bed and went into the hall to make some phone calls. He called the Admiral and told him what was going on. The Admiral said that he would inform the staff and that he would be on the first available flight out. Harm thanked him and hung up. He checked back in on Mac and saw that she was sleeping like a rock, so he decided to take a walk. As he stepped outside the cool air hit him hard. It was mid October and all the leaves had fallen onto the ground, covering the concrete with a quilt of many colors. He smiled as he watched a young couple holding hands in the small garden he was strolling through. He wondered if he and Mac would ever have the chance to do that. Last night when Mac had lost control Harm had been frightened. She had never let her guard down that much, at least not in front of him. She had looked so fragile, so vulnerable. When she had asked him to fix it his heart broke. He had always tried to fix her problems, but this one was out of his hands. Harm sat down on a nearby bench and cradled his head in his hands. Tears steadily began to flow and he didn't care who saw. The woman he loved was lying in a hospital bed and was facing the fact that she may never have the life she had once had, or the life she had only dreamed of. A small hand touched his and he looked up into those beautiful green eyes he had seen earlier. Katie didn't say anything; she merely slipped her hand into his and gave it a tight squeeze. Harm tried to give her a small smile, but it was futile. He wondered how such a young girl could be so grown up. She knew just how to comfort people, which was a talent that most adults never did acquire. "Hi Katie." He said softly.

"Hey Harm. I thought I told ya it wasn't your fault?" she asked as she rolled nearer to the man.

"I know; that is not why I am upset." He said as he pulled his face from his hands.

Katie softly touched the side of his face. "Ya can't fix it either." With that the small girl rolled away and went inside.

Harm sat and contemplated what Katie had just told him. He looked down at his watch and realized that he should probably go and check on Mac. He slowly rose and went in to see if she was still sleeping. When he reached the room he was relieved to see that she was still asleep, and appeared to be peaceful. Harm gazed out the window at the cloudy sky and watched as the lightening light up the vast darkness. He heard a soft moaning noise coming from behind him. Mac was moving uneasily in her sleep. Harm walked over and gently crawled in beside her. "Shhh…everything is going to be okay Sarah." He said soothingly. "I am going to be right here beside you. I promise." This appeared to soothe her and she quickly went back to being still. Harm's heart broke as he looked down at the fragile Marine. She had become a shell of the woman she used to be. No more was she the strong stoic Marine, now she had become the small frightened child. Everyone has a part of a child within them; they just usually don't let it out. But Mac had done more than allow it to come out; she had become it. A little while later Mac slowly opened her eyes and stared up at Harm's. "Hey." He said softly as he brushed back a piece of hair.

"Hi." She said barely above a whisper.

"Do you remember anything?"

Mac nodded and slowly looked up at him. "I was hit by a car, and now…now…" she took a ragged breath "Now I can't walk." A tear slipped down her face and landed on the sheets. "I'm guessing that you called the Admiral?" she asked as she closed her eyes.

"Yeah, he should be here in a couple of hours." Harm gently touched her face. "Mac you really are lucky."

Mac gave a dry laugh. "Oh yeah, not being able to walk again is definitely great for me. Have you always been this optimistic?" She asked dryly.

Harm knew it was the grief talking, and not her, but it still hurt. Before Harm could respond there was a knock at the door. "Come in." He said as he got out of Mac's bed.

"Hi, I am Dr. Taylor. I am going to be your main physician for your stay here." Dr. Taylor continued to explain what they would do to help Mac get better. "You have a good chance of being able to walk and function normally again, but that all depends on how much effort you put into the program." The doctor stopped and let Mac take in all of the new information. As he continued to explain things he could tell he was losing her. She was going to be one of the ones who would make this journey harder than it had to be. "Well thanks for your attention." He said politely. "I will be in later to check on you and in a couple of days we will move you to a regular room, and get you set up with a physical therapist." On his way out the doctor shook Harm's hand and gave him an encouraging pat on the back.

Harm slowly approached Mac and touched her arm. She flinched and pulled away. "Mac…"

"Not now Harm." She closed her eyes tight. "Not now."

"You are eventually going to have to talk about it." Mac just closed her eyes and ignored him. "You can push all you want, but I am not leaving you. Not this time."

"What if I don't want you to stay? What if I want you to run away like you always do? Harm for once why can't you shut down and go into run mode?" She spat through clenched teeth.

Harm stood in shock. He had never seen her so angry or hurt. "Mac you don't mean that."

"Yes I do." She said angrily. "I don't want you here. I want you to leave."

Harm's heart was breaking, but he remained stoic. "I am not going anywhere Mac." He said firmly.

"Why not? Why aren't you just going to abandon me?"

"Because Mac you are my best friend." He saw her role her eyes and he knew that she wanted him to say that she meant more to him than just a friend. "Mac why do you want me to leave?"

She sighed. "Because you don't want to be here, and honestly I don't feel like dealing with you."

"Mac this isn't like you." He said softly.

"How do you know what I am like? How dare you say you know what I am like. You don't know me!" she yelled.

"What do you mean I don't know you?" Harm paced the room. "Mac I know you better than anyone else. I know that when you smile you have a slight dimple in your right cheek, but not in you left. I know that when you are nervous you bite your lower lip, and when you are mad there is look you get in your eyes and they turn from caramel to a dark brown color. I can pick out your laugh among a million others. I can look at a group of people and immediately find you." Harm sighed and continued. "I know that all you want in life is a good job, a comfortable pair of shoes, and a wonderful man to share your life with. I can always tell when you have been crying. I know about your childhood; I know about you." Harm stopped his speech and turned to look at her with hurt consuming his eyes. "So don't you dare try to tell me that I don't know you." Harm ran his hand through his hair and looked at her stone cold face. He knew that what he had said had gotten to her, but he also knew that she was not going to show it. Without a word Harm walked over to her side and kissed her forehead lightly. "I'm going for a walk." Mac nodded her head and turned to look out the window. As he approached the door Harm turned and looked back at her. "I'm not leaving you Sarah, just getting some air." She didn't acknowledge him, just continued to stare out the window. Harm took this as his cue to leave and quietly left the room. He knew that she was going to eventually break down, but when was the question.

**-4 Days Later-**

The past four days had been uneventful. Mac and Harm had only spoken to each other when necessary, and Mac's mood had changed little. Harm had expressed to the doctor that her pessimistic outlook was worrying him. The doctor had informed him that most patients were like this at the beginning, but once they realized that they could still go on living their mood typically improved. Harm continued to replay the doctor's words in his mind. "She can only begin to mend what is broken, when she decides to let herself break." It had taken Harm a while to process the meaning in the doctors words, but now he understood. Mac had to be willing to admit that she was broken physically and emotionally before she could begin to heal. Harm looked out across the grass at the sun that was rising above the tree line. He looked down at his watch and realized that Mac would be awake soon. As he slowly rose from his resting place on the wooden bench a thought came to him. Maybe if he could show Mac that other people were able to go on living, then she would see that she could do the same.

**-Same time- Mac's room-**

Mac closed her eyes and listened to the silence. She had been moved to a regular room now and was glad to be out of intensive care. Mac listened to the sound of her own breathing and was comforted by the rhythmic sound. For the past four days she had been living in silence. It was not because she did not want to talk to Harm; it was because she found the silence comforting. No matter what happened in the day she could always find solace in the silence of her room. Mac slowly opened her eyes and stared out of her window. The sun had risen above the trees and was making its ascent. She sighed and looked down at her legs. They were uncovered and lying on top of her blankets. It felt so odd not being able to move them. She kept telling them to move, but they wouldn't. The doctor had been encouraging her to try and start sitting up by herself during the day. He had told her that it might take her a while to be able to do so, but that she would eventually be able to do it. The truth was that Mac could already sit up by herself without any problems. The fact that she had the muscular structure of a marine had helped her immensely. Mac sat up and held onto the railing. She slowly lifted her right leg and moved it so that it was hanging on the right side of her bed. She followed suit with the left leg. She sat facing the window and just looked down at the people walking by. A tear slowly slid down her face as she remembered the visits she had had from all of her friends. Mac had refused to see any of them. She knew they were worried about her, but she just could not let them see her in the state she was in. From her room she had been able to hear Harriet crying when Harm had told her the news. Mac heart had been pained at the sound; however she remained adamant that she would not see them. Amazingly they had all been understanding and told her to take her time. As Mac continued to reminisce there was a knock at her door. "Come in." she called hoarsely.

Harm walked in and smiled at her. "See, I told you those abs would come in handy." He said referring to the fact that she was sitting up on her own. Mac gave him a weak smile. "I brought someone to see you." He said excitedly.

Mac sighed. "Harm I thought you understood that I don't want to see anyone." She said annoyed.

"This is different." He told her and before she could respond he turned around and opened the door. "Mac I would like you to meet Kate. Kate this is Mac." Mac looked down at a small girl in a hot pink wheelchair. She could not believe how happy the child seemed to be.

"Hi, I'm Katie. You musta be Mac. I have heard a lot about ya." The little girl stuck her hand forward.

Mac took the small hand and shook it. "Nice to meet you. I hope you have only heard good things." She said with a small smile.

"Well, I haven't heard much about ya personally, but all he ever talks about is you. He seems to think it's his fault you're in here." Katie said charismatically.

Mac slowly looked over her shoulder to where Harm was standing. She gave him a sad smile. "He always thinks it's his fault, and it rarely is." As she said this her eyes never left his. She was trying to tell him that it wasn't his fault. At that moment Mac realized she was going to have to start talking to him, or he would always carry that burden of blame with him where ever he went. Mac turned back to Katie. "So Katie, are you from Ireland?"

The two continued to talk happily. Harm smiled, knowing he had done the right thing. They both needed someone to confide in. Harm quietly slipped out of the room, leaving the two to talk.

**-A/N-** Hope you liked the update. I think that this story has a lot of potential. Anyways review please. I really like to read what you think.

**_-Next Time on Life Goes On- Mac breaks down and finally talks to Harm, and maybe a few romantic moments._**


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